The Donut of Doom
by HighOnCookies
Summary: A late Halloween short-story collection inspired by The Simpsons, written for my brother, and posted because I figured, why not? Various plots and pairings, but the first is Wishfulshipping...


**For the record, this was mainly my brother's idea. My _fault_, but his idea. See, last year, I wrote a story where Axew likes donuts, jokingly asked if it happened to be worse than Homer Simpson and beer, he quoted that 'Shining' parody from The Simpsons and demanded I write him...this. I know it's stupid, but we enjoyed it, and we hope you do, too.**

**Um, happy late Halloween, everybody.**

* * *

"Oh, look. It's raining."

_A bit of an understatement, Ash_, Iris though with a sigh as she turned to her companions, the rain flattening the little grassy spikes in Cilan's hair and soaking her own. Ash didn't seem to be affected, for one reason or another(really, was there anything that could hurt that kid?) but Pikachu was shivering, pressing his wet, furry body closer to Ash in an attempt to get warm.

"What can we do? There's no shelter," Cilan said, attempting to stick his hair up again. He failed - the little spiky thingies fell right back down over his eyes.

"We run, then," Iris announced, and led the boys off to find a place to wait out the downpour. It wasn't long before they found a rather large mansion, and Iris leaned on the buzzer, hoping that whoever owned the place would let them in. Fortunately, the gates swung open, and a creepy-looking old man approached under an umbrella.

"Why, hello, children," he said with a smile, showing off his long, yellow teeth. Iris saw Cilan shudder out of the corner of her eye, but Ash just waved like the oblivious, battle-obsessed moron he was. "You certainly don't want to catch a cold. Perhaps you can stay here for the night, or at least until it stops raining."

"You'd let us stay?" Ash jumped for joy, nearly knocking his yellow friend off his shoulder. "Thanks, mister!"

"I don't know," Cilan said as his younger friends and the old man dragged him inside. "Remember the Litwick incident? Something doesn't taste right..."

"Enough with the tasting," Iris huffed, as Axew climbed out of her hair so she could wring it out in the nice old man's kitchen sink. "I'll admit, the place seems empty, but does he look like Litwick have been sucking his life?"

The grasshead fell silent, instead pulling a towel from his bag and scrubbing his own hair with it. The old man announced he was going to bed, and told the trainers that while the guest rooms were being redone, the chairs in his living room were rather comfortable, and they could sleep in any one of them they wanted. They were about to take him up on that offer when Axew spotted something.

"Seriously?" Iris demanded, watching her Pokémon attempt to reach a box of donuts. "Cilan made us dinner two hours ago!"

Axew pouted, not because Iris made sense, but because the donut box was empty. "Axew ax."

Iris sighed and rolled her eyes at his antics. "I'm sorry, Axew," she said, stroking his head. "But they weren't our donuts, anyway."

Axew sniffled and dragged the box out with him, leaving the others wondering why the old man kept an empty box of donuts in his kitchen in the first place.

* * *

Axew held the donut box close, thinking of his lost snacks. He liked fruit, sure, more than any other food...except donuts. Ever since Iris had first bought one and shared it with him, just two days before they'd met Ash, he was hooked. This was a tragedy, he decided as he lay down to sleep.

He looked up to see a strange shape, identifiable only because of the pictures in the books he'd flipped through in libraries. _"Are you a real, live Duskull?"_

_"Are you a real, live Axew?" _The Duskull retaliated, before floating over to the empty donut box. _"A donut fan, are you?"_

_"Yeah, but my trainer says I can't eat them all the time. She says it's not healthy."_

_"Sounds like your trainer needs to be taught a lesson," _said the Duskull, floating back to its original place.

_"She doesn't! Iris is good enough! She's the best!"_

_"And yet she doesn't let you stuff your face with donuts," _the Duskull pointed out, much to Axew's shock.

That much was true. _"So what should I do?"_

_"Kill her. Her and her friends. Do this, and I'll give you all the donuts you could ever eat."_

_"No! You can't make me! No amount of donuts is worth that!"_

_"I can make you,"_ said the Duskull, and the red swirled in its eye sockets as Axew stared, transfixed. _"You will kill the humans, and remove them from my house. Only then will you have all the donuts your heart desires."_

What could the poor hypnotized dragon do but obey?

* * *

"Axew!" Iris called, wandering through the halls of the old man's house. "Axew, where are -" she stopped and froze as she saw the most horrible sight: the old man lay dead on the floor, and had obviously been that way for quite some time. Before the shocked girl could run away, or throw up, or anything else that seemed appealing, the body disintegrated and turned into a cloud of purple gas, its only features being a pair of dark eyes and a large mouth. A Gastly.

It chuckled at her fear, and rushed toward her, shooting right over her shoulder. That was when Iris ran.

She ran as fast as she could, through the halls, through the doors, and right into the arms of a very surprised Cilan. She was far too busy freaking out to notice his blush, clinging tightly to him and hiding her face in his chest as she babbled something about a Kanto-native Ghost-type living in the house.

"Slow down, Iris," he said gently, stroking her hair as he dimly realized Axew wasn't in there. "What's this about Kanto?"

"The old man," she panted, and realized to her embarrassment that she was crying. "He's not an old man at all, he's a shape-shifting Gastly, like the one Ash told us about from his Kanto travels..."

Cilan did vaguely recall that story, and held her closer as she let all her confusion out in the form of salty tears, occasionally speaking, all the while wondering how to get everyone out alive. When her eyes finally seemed dry, but she showed no sign of letting go, he had to break out of her arms. "Listen, Iris. We'll have to find Ash, Pikachu, and Axew, and then we'll all run away and never look back. We may have to fight," he added, but Iris was willing.

"Come on, Excadrill," she said, releasing the drilling Pokémon over Cilan's shoulder. Excadrill looked half concerned at the closeness between his trainer and her friend, but didn't seem to care otherwise. "Excadrill, we might need your help to take down some Ghost-types. Think you can help?"

Excadrill smiled and clicked his claws, before following the humans out on their search for their friends.

* * *

The three broke down the next door to see a terrified Ash, Pikachu on his shoulder like always, and in the corner, Axew brandishing a knife.

"Axew, axew," he said, before he attacked. The boy and the mouse yelled and ducked, while Iris wrestled the hypnotized creature to the ground and yanked the knife from his tiny clawed hand.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" she demanded, holding it at arm's length as Axew jumped for it. Axew seemed beyond reasoning as he ran up to the counter for a new one, and this one was soon pointed into his trainer's face. "Put it down, Axew. We can talk about this."

Letting out a strange cry, Axew attacked again, and Iris barely ducked in time. Excadrill growled and launched himself at the dragon, and suddenly it was a battle of metal on claw as the two Pokémon dueled.

"What's going on, guys?" Ash demanded.

"If we knew, we'd tell you," Cilan replied, trying not to show his fear. Iris returned Excadrill as they ran away from the crazed Axew.

The trio found themselves in the basement, and Iris released Emolga just so she'd have something to cuddle when she lost it. The electric squirrel was surprised and confused, but she enjoyed the attention and was only slightly worried when she heard about what was going on.

Meanwhile, the boys were plotting how best to escape, hopefully fixing Axew on the way. Ash was all for battling their way out, but Cilan objected, seeing as how Axew was armed with a supply of kitchen knives, and he didn't want the poor dragon-type to end up hurt.

Emolga wiggled out of her trainer's arms, apparently annoyed with those of the male species, and with an almost apologetic look at Iris, scurried away.

The door creaked open, and down came Axew, knife in hand, as he attempted to continue his mission. For something so small, he certainly looked terrifying. But, deep down, he was Axew...but how would she get to him?

"Axew?" Iris called, stepping out of the shadows. "Don't you remember me? I'm here to help you!"

A pause, then a flash of something in the bright red eyes. The next thing Iris knew, her Pokémon was charging at her. Cilan pulled her out of the way and back into the shadows, a sudden, dangerous expression on his face. "Don't do that again."

"It worked in the movies," Iris protested, but looked back at the little dragon. There was no sign of her friend in there, but there was a sign of supernatural hypnosis. The Gastly, maybe?

The creaking of the door distracted everyone, Axew wondering if it was the Duskull coming to ask why the humans weren't dead, everyone else wondering if it was Axew's accomplice come to help him. It was neither.

It was Emolga.

And, clutched in her right front paw, was a chocolate-frosted donut.

"Emolga!" Iris gasped. Axew's eyes were focused on the treat, which his friend held out in front of him, taunting him with its sweet deliciousness, and he swung the knife at her. Emolga dodged, made an irritated sound and backed away, saying something in her own language that Axew seemed to halfway understand. Slowly, he put down the knife, and with a smile, Emolga handed him the donut.

The second he took a bite, Axew's usual friendly personality returned, and bounced up to his trainer and her friends. Cilan wrapped his arms around Iris protectively, but she fought her way free to meet her friend.

"She did it," Iris cheered, picking up Axew with one arm and Emolga with the other, hugging them both. "Emolga, you little genius!"

Ash and Cilan blinked simultaneously, then approached the trainer and her Pokémon. "I'm sorry for pulling Iris away from you," Cilan told the little dragon, stroking his head. Emolga growled at the green-haired boy to pet her, too, and with a nervous laugh he complied.

Ash watched the scene like a father watching his children, but then suddenly had a thought. "Hey, Emolga, where did you get the donut?"

Emolga's explanation was in quick Poke-speak, but it got both Pikachu and Axew to facepalm even if their trainers didn't understand it. Apparently, the Duskull and Gastly were both male, and had hidden a supply of donuts under a bed simply because they liked them, too.

With a sigh, Pikachu tugged the trainers outside, where a beautiful sunny morning greeted them. At last, they were free of the House of Horrors, and Axew was back to normal. With this little adventure behind them, who knows what they'll face next?

* * *

(Optional Ending)

Iris forced her eyes open to see a starry night sky, not a drop of rain anywhere. The boys and the Pokemon were at various spots on tonight's campground, not a single one aware of what had just happened. She sighed and curled up in her sleeping bag.

"That is the last time I chug Pixy Stix powder before bed," she declared to no one, before falling back asleep, to dreams that actually made sense.


End file.
